The thought hit me from a blind-spot; I honestly didn’t see it coming. I was in the kitchen washing dishes when the ‘Eureka moment‘ happened. Of course many will say that what I am about to say has always been the case, and to this I cannot disagree since I am not attempting to put claims on a discovery already made. Columbus has done that, The New World© all rights reserved.
“Some men are husbands only because the intended man would not have met approval.”
This came to me while standing over a pool of water. The force of the thought was so strong I had to share it with a female friend almost instantly. While she agreed with the theory, she also stretched my mind to think more generally that women also face similar symptoms in marriage. Like men, women are victims of vows exchanged as men with ulterior motives come along, win their hearts, then ultimately break it.
From the ‘Eureka moment‘ a poem titled “Relation Misconceptionship” was also birthed. I wrote it as a synopsis for this entire blog.
There are some people that value the approval of others so much so that they neglect their own feelings. Ignoring how valuable a peaceful life and a peace of mind is, they plunge into satisfying the eyes of onlookers and as a result, many relationships are living dead. This could be interpreted in many different ways; however, my only intent is to say that these bonds (whether marital or common law) just merely bare the name, but in reality there is no bond perhaps just bondage with bandages.
Let us take for instance, a church-grown girl that likes the ‘bad boy’ stereotype, but due to the backlash she’d receive, she settles for someone more suited for her lifestyle. Or a man who is considered to be ‘street’ that finds light in the sight of a well-groomed woman that stands committed to good values and morals. Instead of proceeding, he isolates himself from his feelings and engages in a relationship with someone of his own stratification. Certainly not for self satisfaction, but rather to avoid any negative reaction or opposition. These kind of actions create unhealthy relationships.
Some will feel compelled to remain grounded in these relationships, I know many can relate, even after the initial intentions have been revealed. Why? Because they still feel the need to please everyone else but themselves. In recent times domestic violence has been on a rise; women are killing their husbands, but more so men are killing their wives. These are never things we look forward to because there is often a child(or children) being affected by their doings. Because of such a great demand to give pleasure to others, many important things are sacrificed and one such thing happens to be life.
While it is easy to imagine oneself using a stepping-stone to elevate or move closer to one’s dream, no one enjoys the feeling of becoming that stepping-stone used to the advancing of others. What I have realized is the widespread of OPPORTUNISM: men and women hiding their true motives behind a smile.
If we should ask ourselves, am I a mere piece in the scheme of Relationship Opportunism, what would our findings be?